April 2021

About Poemography
To commemorate the tenth anniversary of my Poem-A-Day Project, I am reprising my daily poetry challenge in 2021.
Every day this year—from January 1st until the 31st of December—I will create a new poem inspired by whatever moves me at the moment I sit down to compose that day's poem, publishing them here with subscription-free access for all.
Every Tuesday throughout the year, I will write and publish one bonus poem that will be available exclusively to my Patrons on Patreon.
In 2022, I will publish a book of my complete poems, spanning more than 40 years of poetry writing. The complete collection of poems will be published in a limited edition hardbound book available for purchase. As an added feature, I'm considering releasing some of the poems in this collection as spoken word recordings by a variety of special guest readers. Enjoy the year!
30APR21
Choices
Sometimes there are choices we’re not able to make
Seeing the before and after photos of that fat slob with
The bloated belly in pop-up ads on Facebook; slim now
Thanks to a plant-based diet, squats and intermittent fasting
And it's easy to walk past the bakery window with all their
Pink-frosted cream-filled cakes, soft bread and brownies
Simple deduction in reasoning that apples and grapes
Are healthier nutritional choices than fries and pies
But the weakness and absolute lack of willpower
Which I possess have now become debilitating flaws
That middle-of-the-night cortisol rush that wakes me up
Sending me down for a bowl of GrapeNuts and oatmilk
I am the before picture and I'm always the before picture
The slob with the excess belly fat; the guy cringing with low
Back pain; the dolt with a stupid look on his face shrugging
His shoulders with question marks hovering around his head
29APR21
The Wretchedness of Pain
Awakened at five a.m. by the rain is the day’s first gift;
But the soothing, placid sounds quickly give way to the
Sullen reminder of sore chapped hands and that
Nagging something or other in my mouth
I'm pushing my body to its very limits;
With hardly any effort it frequently reminds
Me how fragile and vulnerable the human body
Can be; and perhaps there was a message in the rain
If only I could decipher its pitter-patter and windswept
Melody, the sudden splatter on the windows then
The slow decent down the pane of wet glass
Finally disappearing into the nothingness
I can bite my lip and blink my eyes, but
The reality of wind and rain and the frivolous
Mischief of the morning light has a sturdy hold on
My desire to triumph over the wretchedness of pain
28APR21
Intervention (Broken Things)
Things break; and sometimes they may be
Mended while other times they may be
Not; that is the simple philosophy of
Intervention and, at the same time
One of life's greatest conundrums
Whether or not we even ask ourselves
If that which has broken really needs to be
Mended at all; or if, perhaps, the broken thing
Is simply better off in its broken state; hearts for
Example; the broken heart when mended is
Able to love again, while the broken soul
Can never repossess its exuberance
So many broken things, broken lives
Broken people and broken dreams; if it
Were possible to mend them all, even if for a
Moment; I would gladly sell my soul for the deed
27APR21
Glasgow (1990)
My brother and I were strolling around
The Alhambra that hot afternoon when
Those young newlyweds from Scotland
Asked us if we could kindly recommend
A restaurant that would be open in the
Heat of the day; we told them we were
Heading to my friend Pepe's place and
They were welcome to come along and
Join us for a meal there; we mentioned
Our plans to drive around England and
They invited us to their parent's home in
Glasgow; we took them up on their kind
Offer; that's where I met Elise and where
We fell in love; at least until she wrote me
Some months later to tell me she had come
To perceive she was a lesbian; end of story
26APR21
Thinking It Over
I must have an extraordinarily small brain
As it seems only able to possess the same
Recurring thoughts and trivial information
This and that and the other; clusters of zip
Nothing that could be considered mindful
Or relevant or useful in my day-to-day life
Something akin to self-abuse or punishing
Myself for every obtusity and misalignment
How I loathe myself for thinking about you
Of all the people, places and things that I
Could be preoccupied about, it seems you
Are the one thing I can't get out of my head
The one person to whom I owe nothing and
Everything; whose life force is the fulcrum of
My very being, determination and purpose;
And a propensity for overthinking everything
25APR21
Vainglory
You have a distorted sense of
Masculinity; being a man is not
About brawn, not about facial hair
Or that over-compensating gasguzzler
It's not the money and even less about
How you actually came upon all that;
Worthiness can never be compared
To a plastic bag full of dirty cash
So, what is the true worth of
A man if not his integrity and
Intentions and his word of honor?
Nothing but smoke-filled delusions
The despair behind your smile made me
Understand the reality of our human condition
And the vainglory concealing the man you were
Meant to be, but sadly never will be, in this lifetime
24APR21
Who Needs a King
I comprehend history
Its lessons, relevance
Merits and intricacies
But who needs a king
I appreciate the pomp
The pageantry and all;
Formalities and grace
But who needs a king
I've lived under these
Monarchies three, for
Nearly half of my life
Never needing a king
May they wane into the
Past; take their place in
The annals of antiquity
And in our recollection
23APR21
This Lovelorn Place
It's been eleven years since I arrived
In these neither, never, nether lands
And in all those years I've been
Trying to find out one thing
What makes us so different
How is it that we appear so alike
Though our character, values and
Worldview are so very contradictory
It has occurred to me it may be love;
Or should I say the lack of love
And by love I mean affection
Passion, zeal and empathy
You see it on the streets of
Spain and Italy; outward signs
Of tenderness that rarely, if ever,
Can be observed in this lovelorn place
22APR21
Secrets
I've never kept many secrets
I suppose when one lives an
Unremarkable life there isn't
Really any need for secrecy
But the secrets I do possess
(There are only an odd few)
You have somehow been a
Rather fixed co-conspirator
Which means I know your
Secrets too; the ones you
Revealed during our long
Telephone calls years ago
Your coffee breaks at work
(Not really drinking coffee)
But how you so quickly and
Adeptly quenched other thirsts
21APR21
Delicate Matters
Piecing together the intricate
Strands of my life; scrutinizing
Every loose end and fractured
Segment of misunderstanding
Asking questions to which no
Answers exist; parting tides on
Sandless beaches where only
Gulls and memories fly freely
Living these final exasperating
Moments when only the sound
Of your voice could save me
From the callousness of death
I wonder what the silence will
Sound like on the other side;
And if the colors I've imagined
Will be as vivid as I've dreamed
20APR21
Ending (Starting)
I feel the sun beaming down upon my face
And for a moment I'm carried away to
Another place and time; standing
Alone in a Spanish plaza
It's late winter, perhaps
Early spring; crisp and cold
I lean against an old brick wall
Taking the sun like the old men do
Or perhaps I'm up in the Alpujarra
Market day; the sounds of hens
And shopping trolley wheels;
Fruit vendors bellowing out
I've a longing for home
For sunshine and warmth
For the sea and new beginnings
And a yearning to be loved again
19APR21
Smoothing the Lines
It's hard to pinpoint what that taste in my mouth is
But it reminds of you and all those chocolate eclairs
We used to eat as kids; we'd run home nudging open
The bicycle room door and sit on the cold floor kissing
I never could have understood back then what those
Kisses meant; they were playfully soft and restrained
Not hot and steamy like those kisses we saw on TV
Or the wet lipsticky ones I would get from Irene
But time has a funny way of smoothing the lines
Making right from what was wrong; shining its
Shimmering light on the darkest chapters of
My life; forgiving what was unforgivable
Then morning broke in its silent dawn
Rays of sunlight blinding me as they
Encroached the rips in the shades
Everything gentle like your kisses
18APR21
Harsh Realities
I can't protect you from every
Dead bunny you'll encounter
Plastered to the road; the hurt
You'll endure at the expense
Of others; and there will be
Other hurts and heartbreak;
I could tell you about all I've
Endured, but it wouldn't help
To comfort you; only to rekindle
The anguish and misery I would
Like to never be reminded about;
Harsh realities better kept unsaid
We live in the cruelest and most
Bewildering of times; when what
We see before us is nothing less
Than our spiraling into madness
17APR21
Aquitania
It's been about a hundred years
Since you fled your birthplace
The only place you'd ever known
The one place you never spoke of
To have caught a glimpse of you
There in your home on a winter's
Night; at the table eating a meal
In your bed covered and sleeping
To see you in your everyday life
With your parents and siblings
What I wouldn't give to go back
In time and see all of those things
Your trek across Europe to Poland
And France; your passage aboard
John Brown's sailing ship; the voyage
Across the Atlantic on the Aquitania
16APR21
From This to This
How did we get from this to this
From here to there; to that precious
Newborn feeding at his mother’s breast;
The little boy bouncing on his daddy's knee
How do these babes in arms grow up to be
Monsters; Hitlers, Dahmers and McVeighs
Children frolicking in the meadow
Happy-go-lucky dreamers
To know that exact moment
In time; the very instant at which
The metamorphosis took place; when
Doom was sealed in the book of providence
All these menaces and merchants of death;
Wielding the power of mighty weapons
Taking more than lives, but the very
Soul and sustenance of humanity
15APR21
Cazale
Your eyes told truths
And lies; harbored courage
And a lighthearted melancholy;
You found sanctuary in the wings
Trying to imagine your childhood
Your mischief and playmates
The first time you stood
In the footlights
Or the time
You and Al met
Rehearsed and talked
Smoked and drank and lived
That final sullen year; dying
Acting, loving, living; Meryl at
Your side and those brave men who
Became better men having known you
14APR21
Alienation
Cracks in the ceiling
Fissures in the foundation
Creaky floors and squeaky doors
Windows broken and truths unspoken
Not a single moment free from contention
Nary a nicety nor good intention
An evil eye and forked tongue
Belittling insults often slung
The years have been cruel
Absent of change or renewal
Shifting blame and stirring up fear
Afraid to confront the image in the mirror
Alienation assails like winter's icy gales
Sleepless nights and useless fights
Disillusioned and downtrodden
Longing and left in the lurch
13APR21
The April Lull
There is a small hidden corner of the spring
A metaphysical notion I call the April Lull
It's there, existing in a chasm between
Shadow and light; space and time
It is scented with budding branches
Moist as the dew-covered grass
Soft like crisp wispy breezes
Gentle as the sunlight
A place where we exist as one
But alone in momentary
Bursts of stardust
And wonder
Reaching your innermost depths
In the cold stillness of night
Where darkness glows
In the April moon
12APR21
Objects in the Mirror
Objects in the mirror
Are closer than they appear
But you, for instance
Are farther in the distance
Like a grain of sand
Resting upon my hand
It falls to the ground
Never again to be found
And as you drift away
Drifting further every day
No voice to call your name
Bewildered just the same
The mist is slowly lifting
Like clouds it's only drifting
Disappearing into thin air
Without a thought or care
11APR21
The Siesta
The light reminds me of the bay
Awnings blotting out the afternoon sun
Gentle breezes skirting off the Mediterranean
The rattan couch inviting me to its comforting harbor
Sounds of children frolicking in the seaside pool
Tennis balls popping and slapping the net
Sneakers swooshing on gritty clay
Women gossiping over coffee
Whiling the afternoon away
Veiled in a vespertine paradise
The sun setting as evening approaches
I awaken to silence and the euphoria of renewal
Days pass and light transforms shadows into night
My restlessness careening out with the tide
I am at peace, composed and serene
Eager to walk amongst the stars
10APR21
How (Do) I Sleep at Night
It begins with tucking myself in
Duvet underneath a bed spread
Bought on sale years ago at the V&D
Then folded down just at the top of my chest
Thin pillow folded in half opened at the back
Lying on my right side I tuck my arm into
The fold and settle in momentarily
Before unfolding and shifting
Pillow flat I roll to the left
Extending my arms into odd but
Comfortable pretzel-like configurations
Roll back onto my left side, arm under pillow
Shifting from fetal position to straightened legs
Pondering the moment when sleep settles in
And if I will rise to see another new day
Drooling and dreaming the night away
09APR21
The Yearling (For Emma)
It was a spontaneous decision
One made out of love and devotion
To fulfill the fancies of young girls' dreams
Placing in their arms the softness of their longings
Traveling by train up north that warm summer day
To Harlem then Alkmaar with an empty carrier
Totally aflutter with glee and excitement
Awaiting their first sight of her
Witnessing their sheer delight
Their curiosity and timid caution
I took in that moment with satisfaction
Knowing I had done something pure and good
On this day we rejoice in celebration of your life
We revel in the wonder of your first birthday
In the gift that is the happiness you bring
Touching our hearts, souls and lives
08APR21
Parenthood
Sometimes it’s just too damn hard to take
The worrying, fears and endless suffering
Those frantic middle of the night episodes
Barfing, nightmares and misadventures
Parenthood has been my greatest joy
At times, the deepest of sullen regrets
To ponder my children’s unknown future
In a world of uncertainty and disarray
I will become but a long distant memory
Cloudy vignettes and syrupy recollections
Of what I cannot say nor wish to ponder
Their lives will go on for years without me
That, perhaps, is the most bitter sting of all
Knowing all that will surely come to pass
Year after year, decade after long decade
A vague reminiscence is all I will become
07APR21
Storybook
I slowly turn the pages of the storybook
Aware of the paper between my fingers
Smooth and clean and so pristinely white
The soft gentle flutter of every turned page
Line after line I read about your adventures
Journeys to places I've only dreamed to see
Drawings, poems, anecdotes and memories
A lifetime of remembrance printed and bound
Then I came upon the most remarkable thing
There on page forty-five, near the bottom left
It was a picture of me as a child in a sailor hat
I was sitting in a small rowboat in Miami Beach
I'd seen the photo hundreds of times as a boy
I taped it inside an old scrapbook dad gave me
But one day the photo had simply disappeared
Leaving only the yellowed tape aged by the years
06APR21
Sunswept
Crispy water sun-streaked wall shadows
Bathroom ceiling dribbling snowy brown
New neighbors still clanking and banging
Dust fairies floating in the early morning shine
I feel nothing in my aging body except comfort
No aches, pains, twinges, stiffness or strain
Though my mind seems tender and lucid
I fear it will soon recede into darkness
There are blockades beneath the water
Sunken ships and long-lost treasure troves
Palm tree dreams and barren windy coves
Sand and sea and living creatures submerged
It would be enough to love you for a single day
To say I have loved free from guilt and regret
And to feel your warm breath while I sleep
The tranquil life force that feeds my soul
05APR21
Saigon
Teethy smile and cheeky grin
A laidback calming serenity
Your cat-like soft purry laugh
And a gently-soothing voice
I met you in Saigon in 1973
Or maybe it was all a dream
Changing the tires on a Jeep
Your uniform too big for you
I asked you for a cold drink
You pointed at that canteen
Without even glancing at it
Smiled, then looked away
I was sad hearing you'd died
Never even knew your name
But always remembered you
And your gesture of kindness
04APR21
Sleeping Through It All
I've been known to fall asleep
At the theatre, in the cinema
Or while watching television
As I like taking a little dreml
And living in Spain as long
As I did, my brain is ever so
Acclimated to the odd siesta
The delight of every delights
But it has occurred to me of
Late that perhaps I've been
Sleeping through it all; not
Fully awake in the moment
Living a life in the past tense
Sleeping to whittle away the
Panic and angst I've created
In my make-believe existence
03APR21
Minnie
I've been moved by a thousand songs
But none in the way yours moved me
Your breath and whistletine flourishes
The childlike purity of your inflections
I was 12 when Lovin' You came out
I'd turn off the car radio back then
Or switch to Lujack playing top 40
Not knowing then what I know now
Born in Chicago, Illinois just like me
Moved to Los Angeles just like I did
Pursued the dream of making music
Found the fame and fortune I didn't
La, la, la, la, la; la, la, la, la, la
Oh, to have been a fly on the wall
While you and Richard wrote that
Singing love: Maya, Maya, Maya
02APR21
Mister Prime Minister
I can't imagine what it would be like to
Walk in your shoes; or ride on your bike
Or sit in that round office overlooking the
Scenic pond where tourists take clichéd photos
I wonder how you sleep at night; the pandemic
Tax office scandals, being caught in a lie
Trying to form a coalition government
And just who does cut your hair?
I've always thought of you as
Being a dedicated civil servant
Loyal to the citizenry; committed to
Country, service and due process of law
Yet, there is something odd that piques my
Curiosity; some offbeat peculiarity
The ungainly disposition of an
Awkward teenage schoolboy
01APR21
29 Years On
I have very few recollections of that day
April 1st 1992 seems like a long time ago
I guess 29 years can be considered long ago
City Hall, 119 West Randolph on the lower level
The marriage was my idea, the date was as well
We talked about marriage and wanted to
But a good opportunity quickly arose
So swift action had to be taken
She needed her Green Card
To work at the children's hospital
They offered her the job of a lifetime
An offer much too good to let slip away
So, we stood before the judge on that day
Swore our vows and signed some papers
Called my mother from a payphone
Thought it was an April Fool's gag