October 2021
About Poemography
To commemorate the tenth anniversary of my Poem-A-Day Project, I am reprising my daily poetry challenge in 2021.
Every day this year—from January 1st until the 31st of December—I will create a new poem inspired by whatever moves me at the moment I sit down to compose that day's poem, publishing them here with subscription-free access for all.
Every Tuesday throughout the year, I will write and publish one bonus poem that will be available exclusively to my Patrons on Patreon.
In 2022, I will publish a book of my complete poems, spanning more than 40 years of poetry writing. The complete collection of poems will be published in a limited edition hardbound book available for purchase. Enjoy the year!
31OCT21
Anger Management
It would be fair to say
That you know how to
Push my buttons; still,
I am uncertain about
Your motives and your
Endgame and how you
Imagine it all plays out;
Either way, there will be
No winners in your sad
Sordid game, just losers
And too many to count;
But you'll finally have the
Satisfaction of achieving
Everything you set out to
Without concern about
The cost or consequences
30OCT21
Emotional Dysregulation
There's no easy way
To swallow a bitter
Pill or accept the
Truth when the
Truth hurts;
There's nothing
More painful than
Laughter that conceals
Unhappiness and pain
The kind of pain not
Even the greatest
Love can ease;
And through all
The laughter and
Tears, all that remains
Is a longing to be set free
29OCT21
Autumn Sun
There is nothing quite as warm,
Calming and seductive as the
Autumn sun; its gentle rays
Falling from the sky in
Radiant bursts of light
Filling my heart with an
Overabundance of energy;
Sunshine, warmth and rich blue
Skies, soft breezes lightly nudging
Browning leaves whose tender
Suppleness is slowly giving
Way to a brittle demise;
By day's end, the once
Brilliant and warming sun
Has been supplanted by ashen
Clouds and the sorrow of nightfall
28OCT21
Waiting for Abbott
It's been over a year and I'd be lying if I
Told you I haven't been harboring a bit
Of guilt for not having reached out
To you sooner, especially with all
The pandem/ic/onium that's been
Undermining humanity these past many
Months; I'm so happy and relieved to hear
That you're well; I was beginning to worry in
That you hadn't replied to my message (though
It was only a few days ago); I worry about
Those I care most for and in my worrying
I took to the internet, Googling you and
Even thinking about reaching out to your
Daughters; then I stumbled upon some cool
Stuff, like the amazing story of your mother and
The revelation that your real name isn't really Abbott
27OCT21
842 Hours
It's not that it's a long journey
From here to there, but it does
Make me wonder about all the
Hours you'll spend as you make
Your way from point A to point B
Alone, in the company of strangers
Clanking along the tracks or riding
Down dark and rainy paths to your
Final destination; there are times,
Sadly enough, I imagine feeling
Your sadness and disillusionment,
But then again these are merely my
Observations, as misguided as they
May be; deep inside I'm hoping my
Perceptions are wrong and that you
Are as happy as you are meant to be
26OCT21
Emotional Cancer
There is a malignancy
That festers and lingers
Plaguing the soul with a
Paralyzing malignancy so
Intense, incurable and raw
That it corrodes the very
Essence of the human
Spirit; an emotional
Cancer, unwavering
In its metastatic resolve
To dissolve the little hope
There is in finding any bit
Of happiness in times of
Dire despair when it seems
Happiness is the only drug we
Need to survive our bitter crusade
25OCT21
Semaphore
What would I do
Given the opportunity?
I'm trying to put the whole
Thing into perspective though it
Always comes out unfavorably in
My perception; I have to keep
Reminding myself about
Everything I've had
And everything I've
Already done in my life
And learn to be happy with
That; it's really not so complicated
But then I think about the future and
How lonely the journey would
Be without someone like
You to share it with
24OCT21
The Country House
It took me nearly a lifetime to do it
But I finally own a home of my own;
My name, the only name on the deed
And it's lovely and white and filled with
Nothing except daydreams and rays of
Immaculate sunshine; and only pure
Hearts stay here, minds with noble
Unfettered imaginations, souls that
Illuminate the darkness and foster
Comfort, love and safety; I watched
Adam's film again last night, crying as
I always do when he cries; and seeing him
Induced a dream about you coming to see
Me, walking in while I was sitting on the
Porch; I watched you through the crack in
The door as you swept the kitchen floor
23OCT21
Breaking Me With Light
I look back on all the
Songs I've written, those
That were left unfinished and
Others whose lyrics I no longer
Recall; and I ponder the dozens
Of stories and novels that, to
This day, remain unfinished
Or float in the cobwebs
Of my waning memory;
The tunes and melodies and
Unspoken conversations of the
Characters conjured up in daydreams
Or the half-done dramas and two-page
Screenplays whose titles have all
The allure of Oscar winners
But sit alone in the void
22OCT21
Dust
It collects, it falls, it blows
Every which way and no
Matter what I do it seems
To reappear as quickly as
I wipe it away or swat at
It clumsily through the air
Where it hovers and drifts
Through bands of sunlight
I breathe it deeply into my
Lungs, ingest it innocently
With my morning porridge
And yet cannot even begin
To fathom how so many of
These particles make their
Way into my home taking
Over every expanse of air
21OCT21
Wanton Improprieties
It shouldn't have started this way
I was wrong for what I did, for
How I chose to go about doing
Things; but that I did and that
Things turned out the way they
Did, I'm hoping you'll look past
My imperfections and the wanton
Improprieties of my brazen plot;
But if, after all that has transpired,
You still find the need to assign
Blame, than by all means blame
It on love, for it was love that
Drove me to face my fears and
Push the very boundaries of the
Obstacles that stood between
You, me and the want of desire
20OCT21
The Quiet
I used to eschew silence
Worrying that it brought
Me closer to death, that
In the absence of sound
My soul would evaporate
Into millions of particles of
Mist eventually fusing with
The universe; that the quiet
Would subdue my thoughts
Leaving only tactile residue
Of what I was once was, a
Smear of my existence that
Would never be remembered,
That no one could ever see,
Touch, smell or taste; a mere
Moment in time lost in the fray
19OCT21
The Foreseeable Future
I was pleasantly surprised
Having received that call
From the young German
Woman; and oh, how
Very many questions
She had for me; asking
About this and that, why
Would I want to go back
To work after a four-year
Hiatus and what exactly
Would make this job a
Good job; and I think
I had a good answer
For every question but
I wasn't sure if the woman
Thought I was a bit off kilter
18OCT21
Alan
I knew there was something going on;
Your subtle clues and my keen intuition
Led me to that conclusion weeks ago;
Yesterday, my suspicions were confirmed
I give you a great deal of credit, being
So honest and forthcoming, something
I would surely be unable to do under
Those circumstances; and how alike we
Are, how very much in common we have;
Ailments and melancholy, a tsuris here
A tsuris there; lovelorn and besieged by
Those who tried but were never really able
To grasp the complexities and intricacies
Of our deep-rooted emotions and unique
Way in which we view the universe; but in
The end, we are life's enduring survivors
17OCT21
What To Do About Emilia
What would you do if you were me?
I understand your arguments; they are
Well conceived, thoughtful and even
Eloquent, but that does very little to
Change the facts of the matter; that I
Am your father's age, for one thing,
That I live within the constraints of so
Many peculiar predicaments and that
The inconveniences of aging are ever
Present and looming large; my body,
For example, twisted and vulnerable,
Deteriorating and fatigued; my mind
Slowly and unkindly taunting me as it
Morphs into a mass of hot wet sludge;
But that you love me, or at least think
You do, could be my very redemption
16OCT21
Can't Stay, Won't Go
You could say it's my life's
Biggest conundrum; how can
Someone be so happy and so sad
All at the same time? How can malaise
And discontent be so overwhelming that
My very spirit is run down into the
Ground, crushed and trampled
Upon, left in a heap to die
A slow and painful death?
Elated by the cold dark sky
Disheartened by the warming sun
No middle ground, nothing to appease
The discontent that has taken hold of my
Soul; I cannot stay in the maelstrom
And I will never venture out again
Into the tempest of inhumanity
15OCT21
From Within
I have to keep reminding
Myself that my greatest
Source of happiness
And fulfillment
Come from
Within; that my
Overindulgences of
Whims and fancies are
Nurtured by the dreams
I dream of you and I
Walking hand in
Hand along
Some sandy
Beach in Atrani,
Where our love was
Born and lasted forever
14OCT21
The Star
Once upon a time
A star fell in love
With a girl; one
Day the star
Confessed
His love to the
Girl who said a
Girl could never love
A star for it was too
Old, too far away
And oh so very
Very bright
But, said
The girl, your
Love for me will
Be my guiding light
13OCT21
Soup
For warmth
And comfort
Each spoonful
Gently reminding
Me of home and
My lover's gaze
As I pass from
Lips I long to
Kiss with a
Slow delicate
Breath of desire;
I am the phantom
Of your yearning
That can only be
Conjured up
In a dream
12OCT21
Grateful For
Clothes on my back
Roof over my head
Food in my belly
Bed to sleep on
Satisfying work
Healthy children
Money in the bank
Bicycle to get around
Relatively good health
A few good friends
Plenty of free time
Restful sleep
Imagination
Music and film
Reading and writing
The splendid gift of life
11OCT21
Sixes and Sevens
We'll never see eye to eye
The chasm between us will
Only ever grow wider and
More distant; perhaps that
Was because the stars we
Followed never aligned in
The first place; but here we
Are and this is who we have
Become; not even strangers
As strangers often extend a
Helping hand or kind words
Of support to those who seek
Such things; ours is a world
Of sixes and sevens, where
Nothing ever melds; it is a
Place of sad disparagement
10OCT21
Mental Health
I won't be intimidated by the leaves
Limp and browning, flaunting their
Imminent death, taunting me with
Their suicidal fall from the trees
Outside of my window; and I
Won't be moved by the morning
Fog, blotting out the sun, inspiring
The dismal haze to supplant the joy
The sunshine brings; but I know the
Sun is there, hidden, momentarily,
Behind the clouds, waiting ever
So patiently to reveal its rays;
I will not allow nature or the
Subtle cruelties of the season to
Belittle my sensibilities or taunt my
Always-fragile state of mental health
09OCT21
The Crystal Jar
It's been sitting there forever
The crystal jar; collecting
Stardust and memories
Of faraway places
Traveled alone but
Never lonely, the sun
And moon your guiding
Lights through the universe
With your pilgrim's staff
And scallop shell you
Walked the Way of
Saint James; you,
A stranger of this
Earth, a goddess-like
Force, enlightened by an
Odyssey to end of the world
08OCT21
Apeldoorn
I'll never go
But I could;
I wonder
If I'd
Be
The one
Chosen to
Come there
To Apeldoorn
To live and
Make a
New
Life
In these
Final, lonely
Remaining years
07OCT21
Misconstruction
It's most likely a case of
Being delusional, seeing
What I want to see and
Hearing what I want to
Hear; or maybe I have
Simply reached the point
Of no return, drowning in
My own madness while
Everyone simply gazes
Upon my folly walking
On by without as much
As throwing me line or
Dousing me with a few
Subtle slanders; but they
Didn't see the way you
Looked at me, did they
06OCT21
Safe Harbor
I am not a saint,
Nor am I a sinner;
I have found there is
A balance between the
Two that without a great
Deal of effort can be,
At least most of the
Time, attainable;
So, when I look
Upon you with my
Wanton eyes, please
Do not reproach me as
I will cause you no harm
Not today, tomorrow
Or ever; let me be
Your safe harbor
05OCT21
Either Way
Either way I come out ahead
No better, no worse but simply
Balanced, stable and worthy of
Whatever the outcome might be;
But there is the question of focus
And will or will I not be able to
Keep my sights set on the task
At hand; or, once the thing is
Set in motion, will I or won't I
Find the wherewithal to keep my
Proverbial boat afloat; and a more
Pressing question is once the thing is
Afloat, where in the world will it take
Me and once I'm there, what exactly
Will I do? Whatever the answer is
I'll come out ahead either way
04OCT21
The Bad Fruit
Second guessing
And doubting; I've
Been thinking lately
That perhaps it's me
The bad fruit; I mean
There's always that
Possibility that I'm
The one who is
Poisoning the
Tree; making all
That surrounds me
Decay and loathsome;
But then again, life has
A way of reaffirming
The truth and all that
Is irreproachable
03OCT21
Granville Avenue Beach
I'd like to think of heaven as a
Heavy wooden armchair with
Thick wide slats set just at the
Edge of the sand at Granville
Avenue beach where the smell
Of frankfurters and Dusseldorf
Mustard from Café Brauer waft
Through the clammy summer air
My grandfather returns with the
Vanilla soft-serve cone I'd been
Begging him for all afternoon
And as I stood there on the hot
Sidewalk dancing overjoyed at
Receiving my reward, it was too
Late before I saw the ice cream
Had melted all over my sailor suit
02OCT21
Living in My Mind
It's a safe place
Living in my mind
Where thoughts run
Uninhibited and quiet
Where I can imagine
My life with you in
Paradise while I
Remain in light
There are worlds
I create in dreams
Where I can feel you
Softly touching my head
I will awake to a sunrise
Find you by my side
And nothing will
Ever be as real
01OCT21
Blip on the Map
I watch contemplatively
As the blip on the map
Gets closer and closer
To its final destination
But I also watch with
Sadness and reserve
Thinking about what's
Flowing through your
Mind while you're
Riding your bike or
Sitting on the tram
Coming and going
To a faraway place
Where you're made
To conform, to do as
You're told and learn